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Gabrielle Erudessa | Gamer, writer, artist | Mythology, Biology, International Relations | Let's talk about Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Enderal, Interactive Fiction and anything else on the mind | More than 25 winters
re: murderbots fanfiction account post. im imagining sooner or later it somehow comes out that dr mensahs secunit wrote all those multichapters about sanctuary moon & it does more to humanize constructs than bharadwajs entire documentary
the entire sanctuary moon fandom IMMEDIATELY rallies against the usage of SecUnits as equipment
the writers of sanctuary moon start sweating bullets- what do you MEAN this rogue secunit didn’t kill people because it liked our show??? we were going to end it soon but now I’m not sure we can ???????
these are very wise (and very real) words. believe me.
Also, though, know that none of the decisions you make in your teens and twenties end up truly set in stone. I know so many people who did a science degree and now work as tradespeople, or in communications, or in science subfields that they didn’t actually take classes in. The head of the insect monitoring program at my last lab had a BEd. The volunteer coordinator at the rehab I work with is a BSc. Half of the people I know who graduated from engineering are now working in accounting or finance.
You don’t need to know at 17, or at 21, or at 32 what you’re going to do for the rest of your life. No matter what guidance counselors tell you. Pick something whose yuck:reward ratio works for you, and go from there. If you want to do something different later, chances are good you’ll be able to find a way.
(By yuck:reward ratio, what I mean is this: I am not a high school teacher because even though the actual teaching part is something I love doing and I could probably find a steady job in that field, that bit is outweighed by having to deal with parents, relatively poor pay, and internal school politicking. On the other hand, I am a lab technologist now, because even though the position prevents me from doing as much of something I really enjoy - teaching - at work, it does offer a regular paycheck, hours, and benefits while simultaneously keeping me involved with the sciences and academia.)
no one told K falling of someone feels like drowning. they’ve heard it all before, the supposed fireworks in the pit of your stomach, the feeling of free-falling, only with the assurance someone will be waiting to catch you at the bottom. with their previous partners, the realization was like a soft “oh” spoken into the haze of a sunday morning. the second time was filled with more anxiety, said with a nauseating aura that almost made them hurl, but even that was eventually sated with time and care.
but the third is different. the third is with you.
it’s suffocating on their own breath, strained vocals and a panicked fear in their chest that they swear threatens to burst through their ribcage. it’s staring at your side profile, frustrated at the two halves of themself at war. it’s watching your expression morph into hurt when they pull away from your touch. it’s tears prickling their eyes when you do make contact, K’s fear urging them to simultaneously pull away and get closer.
they want. K wants and wants but never lets themself take. because they’ve learned that when they do, the universe will always find a way to set a balance. you’re given something only to have another taken away. your love is warm until it’s K holding the hand of a cold corpse.
but then why is it that each time their head goes under the waves, they see you reaching out for them? if you’re the one who brought them the ocean, why are you also the one trying to save them?
they whisper this question in the dark, to your sleeping figure after you’ve fallen asleep on their couch. you don’t answer, of course, but K can’t even fake resentment for it.
they just wish you’d make up your mind. because live or drown, they know they’re already doomed. it’s only a matter of how.
